4 Cute Ways To Pacify Your Angry Spouse

How to Deal With an Angry Partner

Is it really safe to ask your partner to take a chill pill when he or she is really angry? I guess it is best not to say something that can flare up an argument. If your partner is angry because of you, then be even more cautious. Defending yourself will be like adding fuel to the fire. We need to understand that nobody is upset by choice there is always a reason. So, as a first step to calm your partner down, you should let your partner vent out their emotions. Here are some ideas that will definitely help.

1. Humor- Yes manners are good but humor is a must in a relationship. We all are attracted to people who have a good sense of humor. Humor takes the centre stage when it comes to sustaining a relationship or calming down your partner. When he/she gets angry turn on their favorite music and ask them to dance or even better, dance on the same notes in a weird funnier way! That should definitely improve their mood. I will tell you something funny: just repeat the words your spouse says, keep on repeating them until he/she become quite and that will force them to laugh.

2. Speak the truth- When they shout at you, don’t shout back or reply angrily. Instead confess that you get scared and feel hurt when treated like that. They will lovingly disengage themselves from their angry self.

3. Know your partners melting point- Aha this is very crucial to note down folks. There are times when you will hate your significant or better half for the kind of behavior they present. But trust me behind their red facade is a golden heart that you once traded with yours. So research a little about your dear one, what, when, how does your sweetheart get upset or irritated and then try to figure out ways to handle such situations if they crop up! To melt away the anger be genuinely sorry if you have made a blunder. Accept the punishment and from the next time make sure that degree Celsius is not shot up!

4. Don’t ever run away- Okay many have the habit of abstaining from the main point and bringing in other ‘not so important’ point and fighting over it. Handle it well and please don’t refrain from the point. Communication is a must. This will not make your partner feel frustrated or resentful otherwise they will think that you simply don’t care.

Anger is like fire, it will burn everything down. So be calm, be patient and you will notice the anger cascading. Don’t forget you can always take help from near and dear ones if the situation is not manageable all by yourself. Many people gather the wrong notion of not seeking help as they feel ashamed (they think people will think that they are adults but still can’t handle such situations). But that is incorrect. In that way they are digging their own graves. Life will invite numerous twists and turns or ups and downs but to maintain the balance in a relationship you have to maintain inner peace yourself. Understand that your spouse has a lot of pressure like you; at the end of the day we all are human beings. If both are of the same temperament then you guys will only repeal and worsen the condition, the strength of our relationship. So keep calm, back-off for a while, try to judge the gravity of the situation and finally act.

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Thanksgiving Day | Origin, History, Facts, Tradition,Controversy

Thanksgiving is hands down one of the most recognisable holidays in the world today. Many of us would think back fondly about that Friends episode on thanksgiving where everyone recollects their memories or Woody Allen’s magnificent film, “Hannah and her sisters” which revolves around thanksgiving.

So regardless of how, most of us are familiar with thanksgiving. But maybe this year you have been invited as a guest to a dinner and would like to dig a little deeper to understand the tradition better or you are just plain curious and want to know all there is about this festival. Well, fret not because we have you covered.

When did Thanksgiving originate?

So at some point you might have heard about the pilgrims but who were they? In 1620, a ship carrying around a 100 passengers left Plymouth, England for America in the hopes of a new life, a life free of religious persecution that they were facing back in England. After a treacherous journey they set up a village called, well, Plymouth in Massachusetts. The pilgrims found it tough to adapt to the new environments and many contracted diseases and died. This was when an Indian by the name of Squanto helped them. Squanto had been kidnapped by a British captain, sold to slavery in London and had then returned to America on board a ship on expedition. He taught them various skills and this helped them to successfully get a good harvest the next year. To commemorate this happy occasion, the Governor of the village, William Bradford invited the chiefs and other prominent Indians to a feast to thank them, although the term thanksgiving might not have been used.

And hence was born the tradition called Thanksgiving.

It is worth noting that there exist other stories on the origins and for the most part, scholars continue to argue about who first organized a Thanksgiving dinner but rest assured, as of now, the most widely accepted story continues to be this.

What is Thanksgiving in the USA? Thanksgiving in present form

In 1789, President George Washington issued a proclamation on the events of conclusion of the war and the ratification of the constitution to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. He asked his fellow Americans to express gratitude for the happy state of affairs.

Through much of the 19th century there was no uniform, Thanksgiving Day and the states that did celebrate it did so on various days. The seeds for having a uniform day for Thanksgiving were first sown by an author, Sarah Josepha Hale who campaigned relentlessly for 36 years for it to happen. Abraham Lincoln finally proclaimed that Thanksgiving be celebrated on the last Thursday of November and except for an infamous two years when it was pre-poned a week by FDR in the hopes of spurring sales but this was met with much opposition and so the dates were reverted back in 1941.

The dark history of Thanksgiving. Why many Americans don't celebrate it?

So was the celebration of Thanksgiving and the general climate at the time always genial and merry? Well, perhaps not. Take the events leading upto Thanksgiving 1637. The body of a white man was discovered and in retaliation the people burned villages of the Pequot nation down. It is estimated that 700 men, women and children died in this massacre. Merely days after this, the governor said, ”A day of thanksgiving. Thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children.” Given this incident it isn’t tough to imagine why quite a few refuse to celebrate Thanksgiving.

So there you have it, a short primer on Thanksgiving. But where does that leave you and me? Should we go ahead and celebrate the festival, in a celebration of man’s desire to exist and succeed which belongs to the core of the American dream? Or are we to look at the many fault lines, lines which haven’t been filled in USA’s short history as a union.

If you were to ask me, I would say one needs to have a unbiased understanding of history. After all, as the old saying goes, “Ones who do not learn from history are bound to repeat it”. I also think that assembling as a group for a warm and jovial time isn’t a crime. So if you are indeed going to celebrate Thanksgiving, whilst saying a prayer to the pilgrims also say a prayer to all those who had to tragically give up their lives, for no apparent reason but because of the color of their skin.

HAPPY THANKSGIVINGs!

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Transactional analysis : What is Transactional analysis ?

Transactional Analysis is a theory propounded by Eric Berne. Transactional Analysis is a psychoanalytic theory based on verbal communication between two people. This communication is called a Transaction.

According to Berne during a transaction a person sends the stimulus and the other person responds. The person sending the stimulus is called an Agent and the person receiving it is called the Respondent.

The psychology behind the concept of transactional analysis reasons it in terms of human thinking. When a person is confronted with a situation it is stored in his memory. And when encountered with another similar situation the brain brings out these memories not in its exact form but rather in the form of feelings that are associated with the memory. At a later stage the feelings and memories take form of alter ego in a person. During each transaction a person being an emotional being is filled with feelings and both parties hold to an alter ego while sending and receiving stimulus. There are three basic ego states- The parent ego, the child ego and the adult ego.

To understand the transactional analysis, it is important to understand the various alter ego states.

Ego States : What are the different Ego States ?

Parent Ego- Like a parent, parent ego is authoritative but also guiding. It often tells us the ‘how to’, dos, do not 's and the never's. Parent ego state can either be nurturing or controlling. Physical signs of this ego state include- body language with signs of impatience or anger. Verbal signs include use of criticising words, judgemental words and patronising language.

Child Ego- Child ego is characterised by joy, tantrums, curiosity, wanting to impress etc. It is the child in a person. In cases where anger and jealousy comes into play, it is the child ego state. This type of ego state can also be called the 'felt' ego state. Usually in a child ego state a person uses phrases like I don't know, I want, I don't care, superlatives etc.

Adult Ego- Adult ego state is our thinking self. The adult ego state comes between the child and the parent ego states, where with the help of others parent ego ones child ego develops into adult ego during adulthood. When we communicate if we receive information, process it and react afterwards we are in an adult ego state. Adult ego is marked with the ability to listen attentively, understand and communicate efficiently in a straight-forward manner. Common phrases used by a person in an adult ego state are- true, probably, possibly, I believe, I realise, in my opinion, comparative statements etc.

Four Life Positions

There are four common life positions that describe the different ego states. They are-

• I am Okay, you are Okay. This is the most mentally healthy position a person can be in. In this life position during a transaction both parties have an adult ego. In this life position people feel positive about themselves and others. Here people solve problems practically and act rationally.
• I am Okay, you are Not Okay. This is a parent ego state where one believes he is right and the other person is wrong. Here people feel they are victimised. Commonly people in this position feel miserable and blame others for their miseries.
• I am not Okay, you are Okay. Here the person is in a child ego state. A person compares themselves with others and feels that there are many things they don't have control over. So they tend to withdraw from others.
• I am Not Okay, you are Not Okay. This position is the most dangerous life position where a person can become depressed and have a feeling of anger and helplessness. But they must remember to grow. It is then that they find a purpose within themselves and stop looking outside for happiness and comfort, thereby making the conversation with others more constructive and leading to growth.

It is said that no human interaction is without a motive; a selfish one or a selfless one is the question, but does it even matter? Don’t we do everything to satisfy something in us that we deem necessary? A transaction indeed.

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5 Gifting Ideas for Husbands

Surprises are always good, especially when they are given to you by your very own significant other. Surprises keep the spark alive and remind you that someone cares about your happiness and passions as much as you do. After all, there is no greater joy than bringing a smile on the face of the person you wake up to every morning.

Ranging from technology to golfing, every man has an interest they are passionate about. Considering the same, here are a few gifting ideas for the special man in your life - the one the rest of the world refers to as your husband.

5 Romantic Gifts for Husband

1) For the Beer Enthusiast:

For most men (if not all) nothing beats the joy of a properly brewed cold beer. You can either buy the store’s supply worth of beer for your man or maybe, you can get a little creative and get them the Belgian Golden Ale Beer Brewing kit, for the man who likes brewing his own beer! Light on the pocket and easy to use, the premium brewing kit is filled with top quality grains and promises to brew the best beer you’ve ever tasted.

2) For the golf enthusiast:

Nothing like a quite weekend spent playing golf, am I right? Make the game even more special and indulge in a state of the art ‘Wilson Ultra Steel Package Set’ and ‘Wilson Ultra Graphite Package Set’ golfing sets. They are sure to improve your game and make them even more fun! For the uninitiated and looking for a new hobby – golf happens to be the perfect sport. If your husband is new to the game then what could be a better way of introducing him to the Golf other than to organize some golf lessons for him? Sooner than you’ll know it, he will be well on his way to become a pro.

3) For the Gamer:

As they say, boys never grow up – they only get older. If your husband is into virtual gaming and loves nothing more than planning undercover operations to take down terrorism in a virtual world, then he will definitely appreciate the ‘Razer Kraken 7.1 Gaming Head Set’ which comes equipped with a virtual surround sound engine, an enhanced digital microphone and the comfort of playing for hours on end without a headache. If your better half loves retro games and reminisces about the good old days a bit too much – be sure to get him the Retro Game Crate by Man Crates. This crate contains all the popular retro games played and loved by kids all over the world in the good old days. He is sure to be touched!

4) For the Gadget Freak:

Gadgets are nothing but a whole other genre of sophisticated toys and men have been obsessed with them ever since the first gadget ever was invented. If your man is into gadgets and loves the comfort they bring to the daily life and grind, get him the ‘Seyvr Charging Wallet’. An ultra thin and a top grain leather wallet that also doubles as your phone and tablet charger. If you find yourself married to someone who loves flying drones, AERIX Drones are an amazing gifting option! They are especially perfect for beginners. These small miracles of technology are sure to go a long way with your man.

5) For the Art enthusiast:

Everyone is inspired by art in one way or another. Art - be it music, movies, books or theatre has a special place in all our hearts. If your guy is into music, be sure to surprise him with a ‘DIY Ukelele’ and help him master the instrument which is a personal favorite of all Indie artists. If he’s into art, we bet he will simply be in awe of ‘Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty Book’ by Andrew Bolton, which examines the full breadth of the career of the provocative designer of his generation, Alexander McQueen. If he’s an avid reader then you can get him one of the ‘Vintage Book, Tea and Stationary’ subscriptions which will make his reading experience even better. If your guy is an exceptional artist then consider gifting him an ‘iSketchnote’ which transfers the sketches made on paper onto a digital medium. iSketchnote is especially helpful when you need to make sketches on the go.

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Lockdown Tips : 5 ways to Build Trust in your Relationship

Good things tend to happen at the right point of time. To maintain an everlasting relationship there are a bunch of factors one needs to mutually adapt to by going about building in good amount of trust and setting up their future goals. The Trust Factor cannot be built within a day or two, it happens over time when the people involved grow mature by being in a relationship. Relationships for some tend to happen at a very young age, some start from their high school crushes and the rest make it happen after a long time when they tend to settle.

How can you build trust in a relationship?

Here are the 5 ways to build trust and honesty in your relationship :

1.  Transparency
Transparency is a huge factor. We need to be confident enough to at least be ourselves and express our choices and decisions to our partner. One needs to be frank enough with their partners letting them know tiny little things which can make a huge difference in making the relationship successful. One needs to have full disclosure which can result in a successful love story. If you keep doubting someone the person who gets hurt the most in the end would be yourself. One needs to be little cautious about that. And it goes both ways. We need to let our partner feel comfortable enough to share things.

2.  Acceptance of the Past
Being passive aggressive is one of the biggest mistakes a person can do individually or otherwise so accepting the fact that you've chosen this person despite their flaws and giving them a fresh page whole-heartedly would definitely help. One needs to live with the fact that in case if he or she had a boyfriend or girlfriend, they need to be in a position to accept their past relationship(s). By doing this they can try to resolve what went wrong.

3. Fix the 'social' habits
We accustom ourselves to obsessive texting, flirting, misguiding ourselves in a bid to divert our minds. As measly as it may sound, it definitely plays a role. In case your partner resorts to such activities, it can be resolved by talking it out or maybe even suggesting remedies and making them understand related health issues that they might face a few years down the line.

4. Personal Space
The most important thing would be to give each other their personal space. This is something people need to put a conscious effort into. It is not good to curtail somebody's freedom by pestering them to stop something they are not ready to stop.

5. Gender Role Imposition
Lastly, as modern educated people, gender role imposition should be totally avoided. It's a huge issue that leads to a lot of issues because of expectations that are far too irrational sometimes. Women tend to get frustrated if their partners would complain about asking them to dress up in a certain way or if they are not comfortable with their partners going out with men they do not prefer. This also needs to be taken care of for a successful relationship.

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7 Gifting Ideas for Mom

The word “MOM” when turned upside down is “WOW” and of course she is a superwoman.She is ‘wow’ in all aspects; juggling between the family – parents, kids, husband (who is also a kid…hehehe), relatives, and her profession, she balances it magically. For this special lady we definitely need creative, magnificent ideas and out of the box thinking when selecting gifts. Here’s presenting a few of those uncommon presents on her birthday:

SCENT-ATIONALKIT–Sensational …ah! Yes Aroma Therapy indeed. Help your mother lift up her spirits, stepping into a more centred space with the ancient transporting powers of aromatic magic. Blended in is the highest quality of essential oils into meditative medleys that each one of it sets a specific tone or mood. Mist hers’ bedding to promote sound sleep, relax, focus, rejuvenate and conducive in finding more creative solutions in the office, simply add a romantic touch to the closets, or mist a bit on your pulse points to carry an air of positivism with you as you face the hectic day. It is hand crafted in Brooklyn, New York this kit is a supernova.

WOODY MARTINI GLASSES–Okay so is a martini glass made without glass still a martini glass??Several designers propose this paradox with the intoxicating wooden drink ware. The bowl and the base are crafted from black walnut, with a handsome grain that echoes the ripples in your drink. Apart from being beautiful, wood is also an insulator better than glass, and helps to keep cocktails chilled longer. With the beauty of sculptural artworks, these woody glasses bring an extra shot of style whether they're in use or simply set out on your Moms’ counter-top.

CARVED PEACOCK / PIG / BIRD EYEGLASSES HOLDER–Well the combo of beauty plus brains.As if the creature (I mean the poor bird or piggy) needed any more help looking fabulous, this bold bird or piggy wears your mommy’s stylish specs when your mum doesn’t have to. Using a single piece of wood making it a charming piece of decor on or when rocks your second set of eyes. A small hook in the back keeps the glasses right where mom left them, eliminating the daily blurry-eyed search for the favourite frames.

MOTHER and DAUGHTER LETTER BOOK SET- Sorry BOYS just being a bit biased. Well girls, we have always being tagged a bit more emotional than the opposite gender. So why not pen down our softer, emotional quotient to that lady whom we owe everything to? This nostalgic Mother & Daughter Letter Book is set of 40-50 cards, fully handmade, colorful that is meant to be sent, shared and treasured until the very last envelope is sealed. Walla! A perfect gift for her BIRTHDAY!

KALEIDOSCOPE NECKLACE- It is an eye candy.How often do we find a piece of jewellery that not only makes your mom stand out, but also gives her a whole new way of looking at the world? Confused eh? A closer look at the elegant silver column pendant(kaleidoscope necklace I mean) will reveal that it is actually a miniature, fully functioning kaleidoscope! This handcrafted little wonder has three mirrored surfaces inside that reflect a shifting tapestry of vibrant colors, provided by tiny grains of sea glass,mineral gems and recycled glass. Simply holding and rotating silver band between two fingers as she turns the tube and peer inside at the snowflake-like patterns within. The exterior of the pendant is embossed with an intricate lotus pattern. Each of them is engraved with the initials of the artists and the year it was made and it hangs from a silver chain.

FAMILY MEMBERS SIGNPOST–An innovative personalized gift isn’t it? Keeping the family together on this warmly weathered sign, featuring the names and direction towards your loved ones is so precious and trust me mama will love that.

BEDSIDE SMARTPHONE VASE - The bloom box is a smart vase and functions as a convenient phone dock as it brightens up her bedside table. It has glazed stoneware; the dock frames a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers. Tell her to use the convenient opening located at the front of the dock to thread her phone's existing cord when the device needs to charge up at night.

Well there are loads you can add to the list and make her day really really special. Make sure kiddos do finish the day with a grand party and a heartfelt speech for her.


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5 Ways to surprise your partner on their big day

Some people are happy to receive a surprise and to be surprised, while some prefer being in on the surprise and would like it better if presented with something that is bought with their own choice. After all, some of us know ourselves much better than others. If you haven't known your partner too well it's time one needs to “Act Upon It. Some Mushy Men do everything their heart desires for their partner. The whole idea of “going till the end for their partners or go up till the extent of Climbing the Highest Mountain” is an extremely sweet gesture.

1. For the Long Distance Couple

The Biggest Surprise for a guy or a girl, would be getting to see their partner travel a long way down and throw a Surprise Party. One such personal incident is when I had sent a parcel of warm woollen clothing to my girlfriend. She was having a tough time putting up with the Extreme winter conditions in Zurich on her birthday. She still cherishes the Gift and keeps talking about it “till this very day”. The so called “Forced Bachelors” staying away from their wives, would consider going on a road trip be it the Bikers or the Car Enthusiasts. Some like the Good old idea of writing letters to their Partners or sending Gift Cards to them.

2. For the Music Lovers

From the early classic Beatles to the electronic music lovers out there- One could surprise their partner on their Big Day by Gifting them a bobble head , A nice T-shirt with their favourite band art printed on them, Doodle Wall Posters, Wall Hangings , Wallets , Guitar Picks , CD's, Tapes, Neon merchandise and a lot of other band accessories to choose from. If one happens to be talented at any form of music, they could go about recording a music video of their partner's favourite number(Song) or make a good dedication on a TV Channel that takes Guest Requests. One could even think of writing a song for their Sweetheart about some Nostalgic moments they have had over the years or any good memory that occurs to them.

3. For the Antique Lovers

Some of them prefer collecting Antiques ranging from Brass idols to Gramophones. Like the saying goes “Old is Gold”. Memoirs and souvenirs are meant to be preserved and kept for generations to come. The best way one could surprise their Partner who happens to consume any kind of Beverage would be by gifting them a nice cup with some of their own Photographs printed on them, and for those many who consume liquor they could be surprised by a fancy beer mug or a shot glass. The rest would prefer going out to their favourite Pub in town and peace out.

4. For the Diamond lovers and the beautiful women whose best friends are diamonds

Women believe in the saying “Do not let anyone dull your sparkle”. Diamonds are highly capable of making women more than surprised on their anniversary or their Birthdays. Men could get any form of jewellery ranging from Diamond Rings, Bracelets, Diamond Studs, Diamond Necklaces, Nose Studs and a lot of other fancy Diamonds Gifts they could choose from depending on their budget. Women could also do the same for their partners, preferably gifting them a fancy Diamond Studded Rolex watch or a tiny little wrist bracelet. Diamonds are something would last for ages and can be passed on to the upcoming generations. “Well If There Is Enough MONEY IN THE BANK, Diamonds come Nice and Cheap”.

5. For the Animal Lovers

If one's partner has been craving to get a puppy, kitten or even a tiny little Hamster, it’s a cute way to surprise their high school sweetheart. Another option would be to throw in a nice little Animal Party on their Birthday by inviting out some common friends with their pets and making them have a great time. In case they are dog lovers one could get Cakes with Paw designs on them or some good pictures printed or even a nice collage with pictures of them petting their animals.
For the animal lovers one could consider making a nice handmade kennel for their partner’s dog or gift them some nice petting accessories like Pet shampoo, Collar Pendants with their pets name on them, Handy Sprays, Fancy Tee shirts etc. One could even think of designing a fluvial edge aquarium in case their partner loves the idea of keeping fishes. The Bird Lovers can have a nice Bird enclosure designed for them on their big day. “We can judge the heart of a Man by his treatment of animals “.

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5 Gifts For Boyfriend On His Birthday

That one day in the whole year when we girls really look forward to and switch to a full planning mode is our Significant other’s BIRTHDAY :). Well surprises are always thrilling and exciting and on his birthday all that matters is that one really big smile confirming the success of your plan. So girls out there let’s discuss some off-beat gift ideas for him:

SURPRISE  WITH  A  THREAD

A unique way of surprising if you are living together will be “thread surprise”. I know that it’s sounding weird and you have no clue about what it is. Not to worry… just make sure that you know your bf’s bed timings (because you got to wake up before him). Arrange a place close to where he sleeps with all the stuff he likes, say- games, chocolates, flowers, perfumes, etc. Now when he is asleep early in the morning (making sure that he will get up soon) tie a beautiful thread in one his fingers. The other end of that ribbon or thread goes to the place where the gifts are kept. Make sure you tie the other end to something really solid and no fragile. Trust me he will wake up to a pool of surprises and love his queen even more.

TREASURES  HUNT  THE  GIFT

Aha treasure hunt… memories of school days, glimpses of those fests you attended in school and/or university. Treasure hunt is actually an ageless game. So why not try it on birthdays? Well think about what special gift will be there when he gets to the destination? Why not make it unique. Yes girls I am talking about “you” being that gift. Make a list of clues and mark the way in the entire house and when he reaches the final point it will be you- the jackpot. Follow up with a surprise party: the wine, the music and the people he loves. Aha!! What a wonderful birthday.

DOOR  SURPRISE

Ting tong… okay so this is a really cute way of surprising your partner. It applies to all stages in BF-GF relationship and that is the best part of this surprise. Just make sure to convince his family members to make him open the door. When he answers the door bell there will be his favorite boutique, a watch and a big card and a cake with his picture imprinted on it.

COLLECTED  NOTES

Family members and friends are of great help when it comes to planning surprises for your loved one. If you know his family well, have a good bonding so to say then this way of surprising will be a lot easier. Tell them to jot down (individually) some cherished moments with your partner in colorful handmade papers, edit them with some adorable pictures and there you go…put all of these notes in either a collage or tie it to individual gifts from his family and friends. To be a bit more creative just slip in a little video message from all his loved ones, make a CD and you there…gorgeous lady…you have your man loving you even more (all smiles)

WHERE  WE  MET  FIRST

Surprise!! Surprise!!Surprise!!!! Don’t let him know where you are taking him…well do blind fold him all the way (tie his hands please wink!!). Reach the destination, open the blind fold and there he will be standing surprised (trust me on this). The place will be, remember, somewhere you both noticed each other and decided to talk to and then unfolded this beautiful relationship.

These are few of those manifold ways to win the heart of your beloved. Just be creative, innovative and he will have one of his best birthdays ever with you.

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Motivation: What is the theory of Motivation in Management?

Today we will talk about how motivation drives people within. Motivation is defined as the inner drive to act in a certain manner. Behind every action there is a motive.

Importance of Motivation

• Motivation fills the gap between ability and willingness. Motivation gives reason for people to get to work or action. Without motivation man wouldn’t feel the need to work. So in order to achieve goals he puts himself and his resources into use.
• By judiciously putting resources to work and its repetition leads to efficiency in an employees work.
• Motivation helps in achievement of organisational goals as efficiency and productivity in the work of an employee improves.
• Motivation brings in a positive attitude in employees which helps them perform well and also brings in stability of human resource due to increased job satisfaction.

Theories of Motivation

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory

1. Physiological needs include basic needs like food, shelter, clothing etc. Without fulfilling these needs a person does not think about the next level.
2. Security needs include physical safety and job security for basic sustenance.
3. Social needs consist of affiliation needs like family, friendships and other informal groups.
4. Self- esteem needs are the needs that bring confidence, self-respect and competence in a person.
5. Self-Actualisation refers to the maximum potential a person can reach.

Herzberg’s Two –Factor Theory of Motivation

In 1959, Fredrick Herzberg propounded the two factor theory of motivation. In this theory if a factor does not satisfy, it may not even dissatisfy a person. The opposite of satisfaction is not dissatisfaction. His theory was based on identifying two different aspects of job satisfaction and dissatisfaction- motivators and hygiene factors.

Hygiene factors are the job factors that cause dissatisfaction or no dissatisfaction in a job. Absence of hygiene factors are the reason for job dissatisfaction. Hygiene factors are also called maintenance factors and for most employees these could be the basic minimum requirements. Factors like pay, benefits, company policies, job security, status, physical working conditions are included in hygiene factors.

Motivators are factors that affect motivation in a positive manner. These lead to satisfaction or no satisfaction at all. Motivators yield for higher performance. Growth and recognition are identified as one of the most influential motivators. These root from the basic tasks that an individual performs during the work.

• Equity Theory
Equity theory is based on the principle of balance or equity. This theory says that a person’s motivational level is based on his perception of equity and fairness. An employee judges fairness by evaluating the correlation between his inputs, like the hard work, time and effort he puts into his work, and his outputs like salary and other perks. He compares the ratio with that of his colleagues. Employees expect an equitable or positive ratio compared to their co-workers. If they perceive that it is not positive their motivational level reacts negatively.

• Expectancy Theory
Expectancy theory was propounded by Victor Vroom in 1964. Unlike Maslow's and Herzberg's theory this theory focuses on outcomes. As the name reveals this theory relates an employee’s work to his expectancy of outcomes. An employee’s motivational level depends on his expected rewards. After he asses this he performs his work with an amount of motivation and efficiency that is equivalent to the expected rewards.

In this theory work motivation relationship has three phases-

1. Effort-performance relationship- An employee's performance depends upon the effort he makes.
2. Performance-rewards relationship- The employee believes that putting in a certain amount of work will fetch him attractive rewards, then he becomes motivated.
3. Rewards-Outcome- Finally if the employee believes that the rewards match with his personal goals he tries his best to attain organisational goals.

Elements like instrumentality and valence play vital role in this theory. Instrumentality refers to the thought that effort and performance will lead to desired rewards. Valence is importance of a reward to a person. If the reward is significant to an employee only then does the employee put in effort.

Finally from all the motivational theories discussed above we observe that all theories revolve around a person’s needs and internal motivation also plays a great role in increasing motivational level. Because only if a person feels that the incentive or outcome is appealing to him and matches with his personal goals, only then does he become motivated. All these theories help a manager understand the employee’s psychology and then he carefully designs incentives and lays it down before his employees. Motivation derives a positive feeling in an employee which increases job satisfaction and helps reduce employee turnover in the longer run.

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Group Dynamics :Types, Development & Structure

In this article we will talk about how group dynamics work in an organisational setup so as to understand the effects and deal with them accordingly.A group consists of two or more members who come together and work together to achieve a common goal. Groups can be of many types. They can be classified into formal groups and informal groups.

1. Formal groups are the groups that are deliberately decided by the management. Formal groups can be categorised into command group, task groups and functional groups.
   • Command groups are designed by the organisation according to the man-power requirement in each segment of the organisation. Each group member have assigned roles and established working relationships.
   • Task groups are formed to accomplish a particular task or project. Task groups have a limited range of goals to be achieved which doesn’t extend after the duration period of the task or the project.
   • Functional groups are created by the organisation to achieve goals. These type of groups exist throughout the life of the organisation. The finance department, marketing department, legal department, production and logistics department are a few examples of functional groups.
2. Informal groups are groups that arise out of the social needs of people. Informal groups consist of interest groups, friendship groups, and reference groups.
   • Interest groups are groups that come together due to a common interest like working professionals from various fields coming together to adopt ecological friendly practices in their field or simply they are a group of tree-hugging enthusiasts. Interest groups usually last longer than any other informal groups because they are bound together by a common interest.
   • People with similar social activities, political or religious beliefs, people belonging to the same community in the society form friendship groups.
   • Reference groups are a type of group that people socially compare themselves with or try to associate with them. People often alter their attitudes and behaviour to that of the reference group. Common examples are family, friends and religious groups.

Group Development

Forming a group is the first stage of group development. This stage is characterised by a lot of confusion among group members about the objective of the group and their individual roles. Neither the leader nor any major objective of the group has been decided.

Storming: This stage is marked with conflict. Group members tend to disagree on matters relating to the group objective, leadership and power roles. Members often criticise and raise their concerns.

Norming: This stage is characterised by mutual understanding and co-operation after getting into discussions or even arguments and effectively making sense of what the common goal and task is.

Performing occurs after all group norms have been laid down and the goals to be achieved by the group is put down on the table. In this stage group members focus on work performance of members and make rational decisions.

Adjourning is the last stage of group development. The members of the group disband when the group has performed all its tasks and achieved all goals. This stage is mainly occurs in temporarily formed groups such as task groups. Most groups do not arrive at this stage.

Group Structure

Group structure is the relational structure of group members that binds them together and helps them achieve group goals as well as organisational goals.

Group Size is the number of members in a group. Some believe that the ideal size of the group is in between five to seven;although this varies according to necessities of the group. In a smaller group of five people, members interact more and there is a stronger sense of belonging amongst the members. Also, the smaller the group the more the individual participates. It is a fact that group participation increases job satisfaction.

Group Roles are associated with duties and responsibilities of every member of the group. Roles are predetermined in case of formal groups. But some roles arise as soon as one takes a particular position and responsibility in a group. Roles can be work roles that are roles to be performed related to work, maintenance roles like gatekeepers or blocking roles. Gatekeepers try to keep communication going and encourage participation.

Group Norms are standards of behaviour that are deemed acceptable by a group. Group norms are formed on mutual agreement with the group’s members. Norms are made to strengthen the group and avoid unpredictable behaviour. A lot of emphasis is given on conformity to norms as it shows the level of motivation and commitment of the group.

Group Cohesiveness refers to the bonding of group members and the level of co-operation among them. Cohesion is a positive attribute of a group as so are its effects.

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What is emotional analysis (EA) ?

Emotions make us humans. Denying them makes us beasts.

-Victoria Klein
Love, hate, anger, fear, joy, grief. All these emotions are a common experience that most human beings can identify with. As the saying goes, emotions are what makes us human. The emotions of love, hate, joy, anger, fear, jealousy, grief and pride are the most common feelings amongst all emotions.

Emotions are strong or intense feelings directed towards someone or something. If emotions were tangible there would be ten bags full of them. But that is not the case. Emotions can only be felt and therefore cannot be measured. Emotions are a large part of this world where we live in. It is how we humans build an understanding of the people and the world around us. If humans were not compassionate they would never feel the need to help others. In such a case every person would live an independent life and the world as we know it would cease to exist.

Here are a few things we need to consider- what would happen if one person never helped another, what if there was no feeling of joy at the birth of a child? And if man couldn’t be happy for his achievements? Then the world would be a completely different place. One that is emotionless at least.

Not a happy thought, is it? This is the reason why one needs to have emotions and it is also important understand its role in our lives. Most psychologists have tried to identify basic emotions in humans. The founder of modern philosophy, Rene Descartes identified six fundamental emotions what he called “simple and primitive passions”- wonder, love hatred, desire, joy and sadness and said that most emotions were a component of the above six. Other psychologists have also tried to identify different emotions.

Emotions can be classified with whether they are positive or negative. Positive emotions include feelings of love, joy, gratitude. These express positive or favourable evaluation or feeling. Contrary to positive emotions are negative emotions that express anger, fear, hatred and guilt. Grouped emotions constitute mood. Emotions like joy have a high positive effect and emotions such as nervousness have a high negative effect. Other emotions like contentment have a high positive affect and low negative effect. This model does not explain all moods but the basic rule is positive emotions result in positive moods while it is the opposite for negative emotions. A study of the above can help us understand employee behaviour at the workplace.

Another important aspect to consider while studying emotions and moods are the underlying factors- people, external environment etc. There are various factors that contribute to emotions and moods can vary from a person to person, their age and gender, even the weather!

Some people remain calm during times of crisis while some lose their temper at the smallest provocation. This happens because people have different tendencies to experience the same emotions more often than others. This a part of a person’s personality.There is a misconception that young people experience more positive emotions than the older ones. A study has proved that emotions tend to become more positive as people grow older. Another general misconception that exists is that women are more emotional than men. It is just that women tend to hold onto emotions longer than men do and they express it differently.

While talking about emotions expressed by employees we talk about a major part of their behaviour expressed that contradict their real emotions due to organisational expectations from them. We call this emotional labour. Employees express different emotions when they are on their job. One that is expected of them. A radio jockey is expected to be enthusiastic when he or she is on air even though he or she is not feeling high on enthusiasm on a particular day. Similarly an Air hostess has to serve the passengers with a smile even though she might not feel like it but that is what is expected of her. Sometimes people have to work with people they dislike so they fake their emotions. This is where they put in emotional labour into their jobs.

The important part about emotions is how one manages them which brings in the concept of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is about being self-aware. One can recognise their own emotions as well as understand what the other person is feeling. Also people with high emotional intelligence are good at reading emotional cues. It is a common belief that good managers are people who are high on this quality because of their ability to understand people better and are very intuitive. Sensitivity to others emotions makes them better communicators which adds to their appeal.

Good managers influence people’s emotions and moods, such as appreciating an employee’s work would lift their spirits or use humour in the right situations to create a positive environment and create an atmosphere of harmony and co-operation in an organisation.

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6 Ways to Have a Happy Long-Distance Relationship

What comes to your mind when you think about surviving a long-distance relationship????
Okay I can see those eyebrows going up… and that puzzled face when we hear long distance relationship. Okay, let’s not try to sugar-coat it, because if you’ve been in one, you know that LDRs suck…big time. That being said… there are definitely ways to make them more manageable, even, dare I say, fun! Sky rocketing mobile phone bills, layovers and missed flights or trains or buses? Countless hours spent pining, wondering and worrying, why do we do this to ourselves? Long-distance love can be one challenge in itself, but as most committed couples will tell you, the rewards very well outweigh the stresses in it.

Well many in the family or amongst your friends will definitely discourage you but according to me everything is achievable with the right efforts; you just need that extra hard work, an extra effort for that extra mile between you both. Trust me when it comes to love distance is not the culprit but our insecurities are. I have a different full form for this DISTANCE – Don’t Include Secrecy To A Nice and Cozy Environment of yours.

So before the dark clouds set in and make your relationship muddy and messy let me enlighten you by sharing some ideas about how to KILL that DISTANCE (which is taken so negatively):

Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship

• COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY AND WITH CREATIVITY –snail-mail it! Confused?? Common be creative and snap that Facebook and Whatsapp off and switch to those old days of messaging and creativity. Write each other hand written letters, gift each other colorful post-cards with a candid click you both have cherished. I know the delivery will take a day but it’s worth waiting isn’t it (wink! Wink!). But don’t have excessive communication. It is unwise to be overly sticky and be possessive (Is over-possessiveness killing your relationship ?). COMPENSATION for long distance is a false notion: remember LESS is MORE! It’s not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourself. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at just the right spots.
• HAVE FUN IN SPITE OF DISTANCE – if you are not those old school types and not that creative with letters or post cards…never mind. Keep a good messaging app and make sure to download those funny stickers from the sticker store (I love the stickers on Hike), skype often (after all looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything alright isn’t it?), keep pet names for each other…it’s cheesy but it’s cute and trust me, it keeps the lovey-dovey feeling going.(Things You Should Say To Your Partner Every Single Day)
• STAY POSITIVE – the power of positivity overrides our insecurities. Stop assuming situations and people. A good trick to survive is being grateful; you have a person to love and be loved back…don’t forget that. Make the fruits of waiting at the end as sweet as heaven. Be thankful and pray for each other’s safety and health.(How to deal with tough times in relationships)
• BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER – don’t let any emotion be a bottleneck. Share your deepest feelings as this will mean that you have immense trust to share your personal space. Also, if you need any help speak to your partner before it is too late to sort it out.(How to prove that you are not a liar)
• LEARN TO LIVE APART - If you want to live together, remember you first need to learn how to live apart. Name an opportunity or challenge or an experience…never think the distance is pulling you two apart. It should be like the gravitational law where that “distance” should bond you more, bring you closer.(9 Tips for healthy happy relationship)
• MAKE VISITS TO EACH OTHER – be it a planned one or a surprise, be it intra-country or cross country, do visit your partner. These visits are the highlight of long distance relationships. Frankly speaking, you don’t need occasions to pay a visit. After all the yearning, waiting and abstinence you finally see each other…aha I see those fireworks, the confetti and butterflies all around (lol). Simply check in and make the visit memorable.
  If you have followed Glee then you would be familiar with when Emma says it to Will in Season 4 of Glee, and I quote here:
  

  I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.

Remember, if a long distance relationship survives, it'll only grow stronger. As the Chinese saying goes, that real gold is never afraid of the test of fire.

So promise yourself one thing: I'm going to make it work.

Don't forget to share your experiences in long distance relationships and issues you faced.

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Things That Can Only Happen In First Relationship

Yeah yeah I can imagine the blush on the pretty and handsome faces out there. Remembering them instantly makes you happy isn’t it? Those old days, that chasing, those fights and patch ups…it was unique in its own way. But everyone is not as lucky as you have been, sweetheart. For some it was a nightmare. For some it was quite a doozy with lot of mistakes made. Mine was a challenging one and a learning experience. Yes I took it positively. And here I am only going to share those positive aspects (life has already so much negativity…why talk about it and be melancholic again?). So I dedicate this article to my younger self and to the newbie’s in love.

• You smile more - You become more beautiful because of the smile you wear on your face. You like to groom yourself, look better, love looking at yourself in a mirror many times …first love has an amazing potential and power to design your life in its own unique way. You never knew you have such a great smile… am I right or am I right?? (wink!!)
• You love the color red – Oh boy! That Russian red shade of MAC on your lips never looked prettier, those red flowers across the street, that red tie, red shade is no longer disturbing (if you follow or have interest in zodiac you will know that Taureans hate the color red but magic of love melts that hatred away).



First Love - First Relationship

• You feel protected and cared by your partner like your mom makes you feel – yes you are pampered! Admit it newbies
• You lie – Don’t get me wrong. But admit it that you have your little secrets that you share with few members in the family or friends. Those secret meetings. You do make excuses, bunking classes and sneaking out of the house…(naughty huh! ).
• You become more intelligent, more knowledgeable –Aha! you have to pay credit to your first love for that. You handle your pocket money or income in a better way. You discover so many eateries; food plazas, ice cream parlors, new gift shops, become interested in cricket and be sporty (for girls who were not previously) and boys who never dealt with girly stuff gain so much knowledge about girly things (from their twisted emotional outbursts to their sexy lingerie…oops!).
• You learn the difference between attachment and love – Love is everlasting, liberating, ego reducing, it enables mutual growth and selflessness but attachment is selfish, encumbering, transient, controlling and of course ego boosting.
• You discover the other side of yourself – You discover freedom and self integrity. Yes it is indeed an evolution of self and you become wiser. Like attracts like and you learn that it is better to become like a person whom you like to attract.

That said I would only add one thing: love is a beautiful feeling; maybe you were hurt, you were abandoned, you became vulnerable but you were lucky to experience it…some don’t even get that. Give yourself a second chance and unfold the magic it beholds!

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9 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

We all talk about & know about relationships, isn’t it? Yeah of course we do…roll your eyes around and you see so many of them right? So what does a relationship mean? Does that mean just spending time together? Think!! Well according to my understanding “relationship” means “bonding your time together”.

So here are some ways you can think of cementing your relationship till eternity:

1. Love thy self:
   Remember when you love yourself you spread love as well because you are happy from within. Enjoy your “me time”. Have your privacy but not any secrecy in the relationship. Spend time with your family and friends for they treasure you, love you and so love them back. In this process you will love yourself more, trust my words.
2. Communicate:
   The most important of all I feel. Don’t hold back grudges. Have respect for each other and if any misunderstandings crop up sort it out then and there. How you both respond to each other’s good news is also key. Show excitement and pride and your bond is strengthened but show indifference or (as competitive couples often do) annoyance and risk damaging what you have.
3. What’s cooking:
   Cook your Sunday brunches together. This increases your bonding, your experimentation with food and cooking as well!! Enjoy the kitchen romance
4. Compliments:
   Appreciation is important. It shouldn’t be just once in a blue moon but every day. Trying to find more positive aspects of your partner, highlighting them than the negative ones are what a true relationship demands. Sit across the coffee table after your hectic day and compliment your partner. If nothing then say “thank you for being in my life” and you made your partner’s day…rather night (wink).
5. Gaming:
   Pillow fight or go to paint ball or bowling or cards…make funny face drawings of each other…anything that you both have interest in. Just be crazy…at times you need to be!

6. Common interests:
   It’s very important that you both have a common space. It might be the usual ones like watching movies, going on a spree or reading, or photography: to make it fun you can click selfies (they are so in…you already have loads of them ) or make funny faces to something unusual (most might think) like watching the stars with the handy telescope you have in your backyard or …just enjoy…life is too short to live up to regrets.
7. Travelling:
   Ok! here’s the recent trend of landing in unusual places: it’s all about going beneath the surface at exotic destinations around the globe with new age experimental travel. Fancy chasing the northern lights or hunting eagles in Mongolia? Or closer to home visiting a near by countryside over a weekend. It’s not about how many places you go but having an immensely rewarding personal experience.
8. Be expressive.
   Shower your love and treasure it in those intimate moments you share. Have you heard about touch therapy? Well it seals your relationship even more: holding hands and hugging each other can increase the level of trust.
9. Mute it:
   Cut-off from that tech world…silent your mobiles, ipads and other social networking for love is never online when you have your partner in front of you. Give yourself a break from the virtual world of twitter, facebook or instagram.

Conclusion:
To start a relationship is easy but to maintain it is when you stand the test of time. Many people might think how on earth are these 9 things the only ways to keep you and your partner happy? Well these are not just tips but few of our habits to maintain a happy relationship.

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Things You Should Say To Your Partner Every Single Day

Some say finding love is the most difficult thing in this world, but if you ask me I would say keeping your love is the most difficult thing. We all have found love in our lives at some point of life but often we lose that person because after initial sweet honeymoon period we tend to take the other person for granted. We forget to express our feelings for them and tend to lose that special “spark” which existed. Today I will share a few things that you should tell your soul mate everyday to make your soul-mate feel special.

“I Love You”

Nothing says it better than these three words said with sweet voice of a lover. No matter how hard life is going on, these three magical words bring out a whole array of positive emotions in anyone. It gives a sense of comfort and assurance to your partner. Never be afraid to tell him/her how much you love them.

Love Quotes

“Good Morning/Good Night”

What else can be sweeter than waking up or going to bad hearing the voice of love-of-your-life every day? It makes every morning brighter and every night more comforting to hear a friendly voice greeting you. Even if you are away from your partner or are in different time zones, just drop in a text or a voice message wishing them every day. You may not realise but your small message may just change the mood of other person for the rest of the day.

“I am there for you”

Every relation goes through ups and down, days when you just can’t bear each other, but that doesn’t mean you are not meant to be together. Such occasions provide an opportunity to know more about other person. And no matter how bad things may be just say “I am there for you” and your partner will know you want to sort out things and would support them no matter how tough situations may be.

“We should do ….”

Relationships are all about sharing moments together. Going out together, exploring the world with each other, experimenting with cuisines and various other things together will make your relationship grow stronger. Rather than enjoying the pleasures of life alone you should ask your partner to join you in various activities. Not just fun activities, you can sometimes you both can work together for household chores too!!

Some words just steal your heart away

“Sorry”

We all make mistakes, we all get angry, but the biggest mistake one can make is not to apologise to your significant other when you had the opportunity. Saying “Sorry” won’t make you smaller in the eyes of other, in fact they will end up respecting you more.

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Are Twenties the New Teens?

Different people, same emotions - because we all love to follow our hearts.

Twenties is a phase of soaking in as much information and experience that life has to give us. There’s a whole new perspective on life. Now that we have started working, living alone, paying for ourselves, we have realized that this is it – this is how we always wanted to be – Independent. But is this exactly what we wanted?? Are we mature enough to take life’s big decisions on our own?? Are we ready to face the scary realities of life all by ourselves?? Do we suddenly find ourselves wondering if we suddenly grew old but not wise?

If it often dawns upon you that you still take foolish decisions and get a little too motivated to make it big, this article is just for you.

Followed the “trust your instinct” advice too soon or too often?

Ever pursued a romantic interest in someone who is completely out of your league? Just because you have a strong gut feeling that it might just work out? Even though you know your luck too well, you just don’t quit, do you?

Gut feeling may not always be right

The consequences – a broken heart, possibly lesser confidence; not to mention the wasted time and energy.

How deep is your love…let’s explore?

Most of us are wondering and experiencing what love is. This indeed is the best and the worst time to experiment with the much hyped feeling of “love”. Best, because the sooner, the better and then we know what to expect. Worst, because if it ends badly, it may lead to a lifetime of regret on wasted of time. This isn’t just love for a person, it could be our passion for pursuing a hobby or anything else for that matter.

Blaming Cupid

In the beginning, it’s all roses and kisses. But at the end of the day, having experienced it all, only a few of us are lucky in love and count our blessings. The rest of us learn from their not-so-wise-decisions. Nevertheless, you’ll feel older and wiser and be able to write a thesis on it (like what I’m doing).

And it just keeps getting worse:

Just when we thought we were done with taking reckless decisions, TADA! We discover another opportunity to set the bar higher. Obviously, we didn't start with thinking that things would turn out this bad, but probably the risk was greater, and so was the joy associated with it. This is why we gave it our all and believed that it was worth the risk.

This takes me back to my college days when I got this great million dollar business idea and was all set to pursue it by dropping out (dreaming of being like Zuckerberg). All it took a harsh reality check from my mentor to make me realize how impractical my idea was.

After effects – A resolve to never invest in high risk ideas (which is broken sooner or later), a nagging friend trying to get us out of our miserable life. Not to forget our “I told you so” idealist uncles and aunts judging our every move thereafter.

Feeling the need to find a shrink

Finally, our friends tell us that we are getting way too over worked and need to chill. We feel that since no one else believes in us, there might be something wrong with us and we need a psychologist to help us out; to somehow magically make our thinking process wiser. Been there, done that, but NO; all you need is a big smack on the face to get you back to your senses. Friends generally help you with that if you manage to piss them off too much.

After the shrink, comes the drink.

Some of us, who make it to the end without wanting to have tequila when life gives us lemons, end up just fine. But for the rest, we hope the best!

Okay, so we made mistakes, realized it, faced the consequences. Now it’s time to get over them. What would be better than a night of alcohol?! And a follow up of regret?!? Here we go again!

The Art of Letting Go - realize that it was a phase.

Let’s face it, letting go isn’t a choice that we make. It’s a necessity that we need to succumb to, because of other people or other things; mostly the things that aren’t in our control - or that got out of control. After much contemplation and hard work that goes with the endeavor, it breaks our heart to prepare to quit. But it’s another learning phase, to which we need to rapidly adjust, to be happy again.
No matter how lucky we thought ourselves to be, everyone goes through it- some with little damage, others with loads.

Move ahead, there is a lot to explore

At the end of it, if you can manage to keep your head held high, new friends or new hobbies take its place.

Remember, Life begins out of your comfort zone. No matter what the situation is, it’s always better to be on your toes, rather than sit staid and complacent. Your goals are your ultimate dream destinations. But it’s the journey that will make everything worthwhile. And treading through this journey called life, you may take some bad decisions, but the only important step after that is to learn from it. Forgive yourself or whatever made you take those decisions. Remember that at some point you had wanted exactly what you got.


You may also like to read :
Some Don'ts while trying to move on from a break-up
Is Your Over Possessiveness  Killing Your Relationship?
Does seeking Happiness mean being Selfish ?


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Taking Responsibility and Fulfilling it

Today’s article is a piece from my own life which has been pretty dynamic in the past few months and practically nothing that I had planned has really worked out. That’s because:
   a.    I didn't plan much.
   b.    As I didn't plan, I obviously haven’t been able to fulfill anything.

However, this wasn't the original idea. I wanted to do a lot but somehow got distracted and diverted off track. In the process not only did I disappoint others, but also let myself down. Below is just an introspection that I have done over the past 2-3 months in order to re-discover lost the zeal. So wish me luck for the future and read if you are in the same situation!

How well has the past year been? Have we been able to live up to our own expectations? There were things we wanted to do; how many of them have we been able to complete? How different have things turned out to be? How well have we adjusted to the expected and unexpected events? How did the ups and downs, and mood swings divert us from the normal course? Most importantly, is there a way to put an end to this instability and get a hold of our own life?

Well, I don’t know the answers to these questions, but the last one. “Every moment in our life is a chance to turn it around.” Rather, it is a choice to do things our way. If something is not going right, there will always be some or the other option to make the situation better. Even if there is no way out, we should at least plan things out for when they are better. Once the situation is over, we will have an idea about what we want from life and how much more we can do with it. This will make us want to prove that this was one odd disaster and we can do much far better than this. In the next chance we get to prove ourselves, we will make sure that nothing gets in the way of this responsibility:

Irresponsible Blame Game 

The devious blame game:
When we want to start afresh and need a brand new approach to things, we need to take full responsibility of our previous actions and realize that no one else can be held accountable for the stuff that has gone from bad to worse to disastrous.
It’s normal to feel remorseful for something that you could have achieved. But sometimes, we go over the top with the reasoning and start blaming others for it. However, it is still our life that is affected and we are still helpless about it. Thus I think it’s better to hold yourself responsible for it. That way, at least we know that we have to control our life in our way.

Do you know what your spark plug is?
There are many things which motivate us. Like me, a lot of people find it difficult to keep our spirits high. Every now and then, we tend to cross examine the supply and result of the effort we put in and if we are disappointed with the result, we get demotivated. In order to keep ourselves upbeat, we need to find something which will help us stay on track and focused. For me, peer pressure works well. Being with people who portray responsible behavior keeps reminding me of my own set of goals. Sometimes, even negative emotions like jealousy and remorse do wonders at keeping us motivated.
Recognizing such emotions, things or people will help you go a long way.

Aftermath of being passive and irresponsible
When we are not able to meet deadlines or fulfill promises, even our loved ones won’t be able to trust us, which is by far the worst for our self esteem. If we can’t do something for our self, how can anyone else expect anything from us? For me, there was a time when even I couldn't trust myself for some things. But now that I have realized what is important to me and what is the best I can expect from myself, I know what level of commitment I can make and try to stick to it. Make peace with yourself.
After all the remorse and feeling the worst we've ever felt, it’s time to buck up for the good things in life. Now the worst is probably over, at least for now. We are taking the right steps and are on our way to living better. Along with sweating it out, it is important to add value to our life. At the end of the day we should be satisfied with the new thing we have learnt. So go out, have fun! Get that body do something meaningful!

Responsibility- Yep, it’s a big word.
I don’t think anyone can learn to be responsible. We already know what it takes to be accountable and dependable. We just have to get used to consistently give results and fulfill the tasks we have promised to, on time. However, it takes patience, the right state of mind, the right reasons and needless to say, hard work to commit to the task.
To begin with, we should make a habit of getting things done on time. Also, getting rid of laziness would be a great idea. This would go a long way to get a hang of the first. Don’t go on and take everything on your shoulders.
There will always be unfavorable factors which will drain us of our energy. But the more we succumb to such situations, the more excuses we find.
The bottom line is, we can’t wait for someone or something to make us realize our responsibilities and how to live up to them. Such an external force would be wasted, as once that force has been spent; we would come to a dead stop. Once you have started and gained momentum, there will be plenty of things which will accelerate you. But that initial spark has to be YOU.

Copyright © ianswer4u.com

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Christmas Celebrations

Christmas, the most awaited time of the year, is back. Family holidays, get togethers  delightfully amazing food, breathtaking decorations, and of course, the delicious Christmas cake are the highlights of the festival. While, in addition to this, kids await the arrival of Santa Claus and his reindeer for their dream gifts(almost all of us had once believed that Santa Claus sends us those gifts J). To make your expectations from Christmas turn into reality, you can start preparing for it at least two weeks before. This would help to develop an idea about how you want it, a list of guests, venue etc. Once you have a general idea about the broad arrangements, get into the nitty gritties.

So how do you make the most of Christmas time, while doing this?

• Get everyone in for the planning and arranging.
Let this Christmas celebration create everlasting memories with family. It would be a very good idea to involve everyone in the party planning. Discuss their ideas and work together, to make sure that their unique styles and ideas are incorporated. This would make them feel that their contribution towards the event is indeed valuable and will get them all excited and pepped up for the final day.
You can also have the guests involved in the planning. If they are close enough, you could also go in for pot luck.

• Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
You can become Santa by getting surprise gifts for everyone. Gifts are an exciting to receive and especially when kids are the receivers. It need not be a very big gift, but should be special to them. Also, the element of surprise should do the trick. You can also get into Santa Claus attire, or just wear the red cap to get everyone in the mood.

• Make it special, make it more ‘You’
When you put in a bit of your originality, it will automatically become special and make the others feel special as well.
If you want to seek professional help for the different aspects of the get together, do put in a personal touch to it as this will incorporate your ideas, thus giving it a sense of completeness. The personal touch could be given as a part of the food, decoration or anything else which you can think of.

• Make everything Christmas-ly!- Keep the theme as Christmas
A theme helps build up that zest and much needed enthusiasm to kick off a great party. If you have guests, you can give them something to think about and get ready for. For example, if you keep the theme as Christmas, you could ask the participants to wear only Chrismas colours’ clothes (green and red clothes). To make it even more exciting, keep prizes for the best dressed person.

• Music has the power to bring people together
The celebration mood can be enriched by music. You can prepare a medley of your favourite Christmas carols or just plain soothing music. You can ask the kids to prepare a Christmas carol, to give the aura of a church choir inside the house ? Small things like these will make your Christmas even better.
Make sure the songs are soothing and are played at a low volume, so that they don’t overpower the main events.

• Prepare a skit
This is a great thing to do, to make your kids know why Christmas is celebrated and its significance. It need not be very elaborate. You could just include the gist.
This is only if you and the participants have enough time to prepare for it, otherwise other things will also help build the right atmosphere and keep the spirits high.
Christmas is all about garnishing family time with enjoyment and preserving the leftovers, that is, memories. You don’t need to follow these guidelines, just put in these basic ingredients, rest assured your party will be a success!

  Copyright © ianswer4u.com

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