Why do we need to move on from past relationship ?

Ever heard someone telling you to “get over it!!” or calling you a “depressed soul”? Annoying, isn’t it? Yes its a very annoying thought that the person doesn’t realize what you’ve been through and gives you the most common advice available. This too is easier said than done. Well, they all say it for a reason. Life goes on, no matter what. It’s our call to either improve with the changing times and changing people(which also includes oneself) or to stick to the past, sulk over it and regret. Well regretting is important too, otherwise how will you learn from your mistakes if you don’t sit and think what you could have done and where you could have been. Next time you would probably give your best shot to reach this 'could' level. Everyone makes mistakes and takes wrong decisions. The best thing you could do after that, is to carry the experience with you and not repeat the same mistakes again.

How to move on and cope up?

Some say distract yourself by pursuing your hobbies etc. But what to do when the problem lies in the things you do and it reminds you of the things you are trying to get over with? Distraction could be helpful for short durations. However when you somehow remember 'it' again, it could just bring all the memories back in a moment.

Generally, moving on isn’t a problem for optimists. But can be really hard and torturous for the rest. The first thing to do is to forgive yourself or the person who caused harm. At least try to understand the intentions of the doer. Probably he/she just did it for the best. Generally, forgiving oneself is the toughest. If the incident keeps playing in your mind over and over again, with your parts or mistakes as the highlights, it becomes all the more nightmarish. Sometimes literally!! Or can even lead to depression in extreme cases.

Accept the reality. Accept your mistakes. Then set yourself free of the guilt, the remorse and the unpleasant feelings. Try to STOP that record of memories right as it starts. Sometimes, all we need, is to talk to someone who can make us realize and reason out whatever happened (or talking to the person involved could help too). Initially, you will feel bad but eventually, we realize how things were meant to be this way and worked out for the best. Make sure the person is someone you trust and is mentally sound and would not become hyper on hearing your story(otherwise that would ultimately have a bad effect on the broader picture). Professional help would be the best. Just make sure you have someone to hear you out and half the work is done! You’ll feel comfortable and soon better.

Next : Some Donts while trying to Move On.

Labels: Moving on from a past relationship, Cure for Broken Heart, No more a boyfriend or girlfriend, Divorces Ex-husband/Wife, Coping with a Breakup or Divorce, Moving on after a relationship ends,How to Get Over a Break Up

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  2. @Anonymous May be in your case you felt so.. but a point comes when love takes the front seat and money matters don't affect a relationship..

  3. It took me like 4 to 5 years to totally forgot my headache from a past love. I expect too much from him and even dream growing old together and build a family. Good thing I found my husband who loves me with no hesitation.

  4. @Scott
    You are really lucky to have him.. It can take even longer at times to get over people.
    But with willingness and the right people around, who support and understand you, it is possible, just like in your case :)

  5. i've been put in a relationship where two-three years ago, i realized that i was in love with my crush and he knew i was because he was in love with me. I still love him and he's the only one i can see myself.. my sister keeps telling me to move on but i love him so much and he didn't know how much i loved him. i developed strong feelings for him ever since we went to separate schools. I have no contact with him. I lost his phone number a few years ago. Now i know i really and truly love him. i can feel it. He's the only one i can see myself with no matter what. even though, we have no connection and we're distant, i'm going to keep holding on and never give up on us because i love him so much that i just can't give up.Yes, it's given me great and emotional hard pain to know he's not with me and that i'll never see him again. I tried to tell my mom but she doesn't know, wouldn't understand but he's a great gentlemen and person.Now that i know i just need to be with him no matter who else new comes into my life and that's true love and soul-mates.He's the only i have ever loved and will ever love. I can't control my feelings and emotions. They just come and go. His name is Kamal Porter: i love you
    Kimberly Tubaya